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Quoting the funny Cathy Ladman :

“My grandmother's 90; she's dating a man 93. They never argue . . . they can't hear each other.”

“My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.”

“All religions are the same. Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.”

 

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The absent are always wrong. - English proverb

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone else to blame.

Faults are thick where love is thin. - Danish proverb

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Money isn't everything . . . but if you have kids in college,
it surely keeps them in touch.

People who drive like hell are bound to get there.

Wise men take advice. Fools don't.

A bird in the hand is safer than one that’s directly overhead.

Click here for other funny proverbs.