TM

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Quoting the funny Conan O'Brien :

“Yesterday in Egypt, archeologists discovered the burial site of the 50 children of Ramses II. Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?"

“Fish recognize a bad leader.”

“In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said . . . this is a quote . . . ‘The research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have.’”

“Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years.”
 

“Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion.”

“Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly”

“President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.”

“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'”

“The California Prune Board said they want to change their image of prunes so they got approval from the FDA to change the name of the fruit to ‘dried plums’. They also have a new slogan, '’They’re number one for number two’.''