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Quoting the funny Elayne Boosler :
“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.”
“The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.”
“We have women in the military, but they don't put us on the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All a general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."
“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
“You know, you could eat off her floor." Big deal, you can eat off my floor too, there's a million things down there. (About her mother.)
“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.”
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