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Witty and funny Fitness quotations . . . click on the authors’ names for more.

Ellen DeGeneres :
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”

Jay Leno :
“George W. Bush says he spends sixty to ninety minutes a day working out. He says he works out because it clears his mind. Sometimes just a little too much.”

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The absent are always wrong. - English proverb

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone else to blame.

Faults are thick where love is thin. - Danish proverb

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Money isn't everything . . . but if you have kids in college,
it surely keeps them in touch.

People who drive like hell are bound to get there.

Wise men take advice. Fools don't.

A bird in the hand is safer than one that’s directly overhead.

Click here for other funny proverbs.