TM

Photo credit: findgrave.com

Quoting the funny Henny Youngman

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

“I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?”

“Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

“The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.”

“She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.”

“My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.”

“I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”

“I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she'll kill me!”

“My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”

“I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.”

“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.”

“My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree!”

“She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.”

“My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.”