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Witty and funny History quotations . . . click on the authors’ names for more.

Conan O'Brien :
“Yesterday in Egypt, archeologists discovered the burial site of the 50 children of Ramses II. Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?"

Oscar Wilde :
“America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.”

Winston Churchill :
“History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.”

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The absent are always wrong. - English proverb

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone else to blame.

Faults are thick where love is thin. - Danish proverb

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Money isn't everything . . . but if you have kids in college,
it surely keeps them in touch.

People who drive like hell are bound to get there.

Wise men take advice. Fools don't.

A bird in the hand is safer than one that’s directly overhead.

Click here for other funny proverbs.