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Quoting the funny Jimmy Durante :

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."

“Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.”

“Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.”

 

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The absent are always wrong. - English proverb

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone else to blame.

Faults are thick where love is thin. - Danish proverb

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Money isn't everything . . . but if you have kids in college,
it surely keeps them in touch.

People who drive like hell are bound to get there.

Wise men take advice. Fools don't.

A bird in the hand is safer than one that’s directly overhead.

Click here for other funny proverbs.