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Andy Rooney :
“Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.”
Ann Landers :
“You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.”
Cher :
“Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.”
Dave Barry :
“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
“What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.”
Elayne Boosler :
“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.”
Erma Bombeck :
“What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked for directions somewhere?”
H. L. Mencken :
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.”
Helen Rowland :
“Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.”
“The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.”
Jackie Mason :
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
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