Witty and funny Military quotations . . . click on the authors’ names for more.

Bob Hope :
“Once in the Yukon, I asked an audience, 'Would you like to hear Jayne Mansfield sing?' And a GI shouted back, 'I'd be satisfied to see her breathe!'”

Elayne Boosler :
“We have women in the military, but they don't put us on the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All a general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms."

Jon Stewart :
"We spend so much money on the military, yet we're slashing education budgets throughout the country. No wonder we've got smart bombs and stupid children.”

Napoleon Bonaparte :
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”

Roseanne Barr :
“My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.”