Witty and funny Relationships quotations. Click on the authors’ names for more.

Anonymous :
“A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last
minute.”

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.”

Abraham Lincoln :
“A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have”

Ambrose Bierce :
“Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.”

Ann Landers :
“You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.”

“One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closest friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one.”

Bill Cosby :
“Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.”

Cher :
“A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.”

Chris Rock :
“Don't argue! You cannot win. You cannot beat a woman in a argument. It's impossible. You will not win. Cause, men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense”

Erica Jong :
“They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a truck.”

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

Groucho Marx :
“Here’s to our girlfriends and wives; may they never meet!”

“Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses, on second thought, just let me cover your face.”

H. L. Menchen :
A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

Helen Rowland :
“To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.”

“It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.”

“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all”

“Failing to be there when a man wants her is woman's greatest sin, except for being there when he doesn't want her.”

“Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.”

Henry Kissinger :
“No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.”

Mahatma Gandhi :
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”

Oprah Winfrey :
“Mr. Right is coming. But he's in Africa and he's walking.”

Robert Frost :
"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."

Robin Williams :
“I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now”

Samuel Goldwyn :
“A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.”

Socrates :
“Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.”

Will Rogers :
“There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.”

Woody Allen :
“Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”

“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

Zsa Zsa Gabor :
“I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?”

“To a smart girl men are no problem . . . they're the answer.”

“We were both in love with him. I fell out of love with him, but he didn't.”