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Quoting the funny Robert Frost -

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.”

“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

“Poetry is what gets lost in translation.”

"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."

“A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.”

“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."

"Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me."

"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."

"Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on."