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Quoting the funny Robin Williams :

“If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars . . . just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

“Politics: From ‘poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’”

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”

“What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong”

“When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?”

“Cricket is basically baseball on valium.”

“Carpe per diem - seize the check.”

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.”

“We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.”

“We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.”

“I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now”.

“Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.”