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Quoting the funny Stephen Leacock :

“Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl.”

"In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies."

“It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.”

“A sportsman is a man who every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.”

“Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

“Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't”

“It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.”

“Newspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged King of England" to avoid libel suits.”

“Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is . . . I presume . . . that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.”

“A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.”

“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.”