Witty and funny Women quotations . . . click on the authors’ names for more.

Elayne Boosler :
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country.”

Erica Jong :
“Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.”

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”

“God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.”

Erma Bombeck :
“I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”

“I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”

“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, ‘No, thank you’ to dessert that night. And for what?!”

George Bernard Shaw :
“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.“

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