Witty and funny Women quotations . . . click on the authors’ names for more.

Mae West :
“Every woman should have four pets in her life:  A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.”

Margaret Thatcher :
“In politics, if you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

Mark Twain :
“Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement. “

Maryon Pearson :
“Behind every successful man, there stands a surprised woman”

Ogden Nash :
“Women would rather be right than reasonable.”

Oscar Wilde :
“A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.”

 “No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating

“Don't give a woman advice. One should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.”

“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood”

Robert Frost :
"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes."

Robin Williams :
“If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars . . . just intense negotiations every 28 days.”

Will Rogers :
“There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.”

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