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“Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.”
“A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.”
“You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!”
Photo credits: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
TM
“A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.”
“Never slap a man who chews tobacco.”
"I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes . . . and I can't remember the other two.”
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes a mistake of marrying the whole girl.”
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